It is hard to....

Life is like a roller coster..But, shall I complaint if I couldnt get what I want???Or maybe something was so precious to me was taken away???

It took me some days to be strong enough to write about my recent experiences. But I realised that I couldnt run away from the fact that I just loss my baby. I knew I was 6 weeks pregnant 2 weeks ago. I was so thrill and excited. Knowing that I would have another children was an amazing experience. It was better than getting good results in exams. My tummy started to expand and love it. Shuk and aiman were excited.

I didnt have any problems with the latest pregnancy. I like to eat, no morning sickness, it was just great experience. But I did have sick tummy some times. I thought it was normal to some people and now I realised it was not.

Last Friday, I was bleeding and I went to the University Hopital Leicester and the Dr told me I was fine. I had got a funny feeling that something was wrong. She sent me home and asked me to have scanning on Monday. On Saturday afternoon, the pain increased and when I went to the loo I could see blood in the bowl. A lot of blood!!I knew I missed the baby.Shuk called few hospital for helps...But they just gave no damn shit to help...So we just popped up to the Uni Hospital again. I met the same doctor again!!!!And she told me now that I loss the baby....What a f..k.g.. shitttt..just the day before she told me, I was fine...

Miss Malaysia A lot...

But after all...this is all written in my life diary..This is all from Allah..The loss make my relationship with Shuk and Aiman more stronger. Shuk is an amazing husband and I kept telling myself how lucky I am to have him. Aiman is unbelievable...She asked me why I was crying..I just told him I got stomach ache..Aiman said no..Mama crying because she loss the baby.and he told me 'That's all right Ma'...

That's all right Aiman....We will try next time and pray for the good one this time. It was may be only 6 weeks I had the baby..But it was really amazing and missed every single bit of that moment.Good bye Sayang...

Accounting is a science or is it an arts???Am I bothered???

I am a MSc Accounting and Finance student at Leicester Business School. I did have some conversations with engineering students discussing on my coming dissertation. Every time I asked them, what they think of my proposals, they kept on telling me that they were not sure about social science research....Excuse me...My research is based on stock prices which I will use SCIENTIFIC approach to analyse my results. Dont u get it?????They did look down on arts students, didnt they????

But anyway why is it on earth there are some people who feel they are better just because they are science students. Most of the CEO are accountants and lawyers. Very rare are engineers..I dont understand why should people be biased when it comes to science and arts courses...Arts is not that easy though...

Emmmm anyway am I bothered with the fact that people did not understand the meaning of FINANCE, Accounting and Finance. I dont think soooooo...

Being a daughter, being a mother

When I was a young teenage gal, I wished to have somebody as good, loving as my dad. His patient make me proud of being his daughther. My dad has everything ; brain, money, happy family, good childrens :)...And when he found that lately he was missing sthng in his life, it must be a shock to him. My dad suffered of colon cancer and he just got an operation last 2 months. I remembered the day he called me to tell me about blood test result, I was in hurry to class. I was shock but I couldnt have much time to talk to him. On the way to the Uni., I was crying in the car wishing that I could be with him and support him.

I might be the black sheep in the family who wont listen to my parents' advices. I just dont want my family to be overprotective and ignore the fact that I am nearly 30 years old with one 4 31/2 yr old son. Being away from family is hard when it comes to sickness issue. What should I do?????

My dad is a survivor. He is a strong man with strong will. I might not be listened to him always but I always adore him and it wont end. No matter who u are, how bad u r, if u are poor u are still my dad. My one and only dad. I just want my son to love me as what I am. I want him to remember me as a good mother as I always describe my dad as a good father to my friends. Regardless of parents misbehaviour or any past history we can not deny their greatest contributions to our life.

Holiday in Paris 

Shuk in Paris 

Hah my first blog posting and shocking news from Malaysia

This is my first time blogging and I am very excited. As friday is good day for muslim I presume it is also a good day for me to start my writting. This blog is especially created to two special persons in my life Aiman and Shuk. Not to forget this blog is esp dedicated to mom, dad, family, in- law and frens in Malaysia.

Today I started my day with a shocking news from Malaysia. After performed Subuh prayer, I read an email from Maz in Malaysia. She told me about Feeda losing her second baby few weeks ago. I burst to tears imaging that if it happens to me I wont be as strong as she is. Really miss my family and frens in Malaysia.

Al-fatihah to Sharifah Rania Hafiz.

Back to my life. Aiman is getting bigger and cleverer. He is on holiday for a week and I feel sorry for not being beside him, always. I think he understand that his mom is a dedicated student :).
I brought Aiman to my university some times just to make him familiar and understand the reason of me not to be next to him every morning on the bed. I knew he cried for me every morning. I missed him every time I went to lecture. Hope U will understand one day son.

Shuk, is my husband, my fren, my everything. He is always funny, funny, funny with his funny singing. To those who know Shuk they wont believe the fact that my husband is a funny person. My mom will definitely deny this because she always regard Shuk as a very quite person. He is very supportive throughout my study process.

Huh that's long huh for the first timer.....I just love writting apart from assignments :(